Bronson Thompson

A Quadruple Pikes Origin Story

Bronson Thompson used to be as toight as a tiger. He spent his days shooting roids and pumping iron at Muscle Beach, shredded and oily and sublimely fit. A god-damned Adonis resurrected in modern day California.

But Bronson wasn’t just a bodybuilder. He was also the “muscle” for the LA Department of Parks and Recreation. He answered directly to the director. When someone didn’t pay up on their Muscle Beach membership, he was sent to collect. When someone graffitied Grand Park, he enforced. When someone pissed in Harold Henry Park, he squeezed and didn’t let go.

Which is how he found himself in ADX Florence. Racketeering. The oldest job known to mankind. And after the apocalypse occurred, hopped up on that newest of roids, WR568, he made his way back to his old stomping grounds, Muscle Beach, where he assembled a band of ingrates, degenerates, and plain old dipshits.

“Bronson,” one of his hellions called, “I heard you used to be a big wig here! Show us how you pump that iron.” Bronson said nothing. He only sat on his throne, a torn and tattered weight bench. It was true. His muscles no longer spoke of his strength. “No? Eh, looks like you only been pumping air into that belly’a yours anyway.”

But everything had limits. Bronson stood and retrieved from behind his throne a barbell that was pulled from the nuclear sands. He then approached the heckler and picked up the man’s head in his hands, and, like a medicine ball, he threw it onto the concrete floor. One minute later, the man found his head upon the first of many pikes that Bronson Thompson would adorn himself with, like some meat-headed peacock, flamboyantly showing off his viciousness to friend and foe alike.